Monday, June 29, 2009

#5 About Those Stupid Soccer Horns

They should ban those horns. I was watching the US vs Brazil soccer game yesterday (US-2 Brazil-3 :( ) and there were too many sounds. The commentators, the game, the people screaming and yelling, and worst of all, those stupid horns that the people get. The people who control the sound could easily just turn that sound down but nooooooo. They just have to let it go. It really annoys me that those things aren't banned either. And they're completely pointless. They don't do ANYTHING!!!! Aaaaaaaaaagh!


Maybe they'll ban them some day. I hope.

2 comments:

  1. Philip--
    The Ol' Mariner is heading to his next port--
    but before he goes, he wants you to know about a man named Gordon Hempton, and a book about Hempton called ONE SQUARE INCH OF SILENCE. Hempton travels the world looking for places where everything is totally quiet--these places are very hard to find--and then records the quiet of, or otherwise analyzes, those places, as a way of telling the rest of us that maybe it would be a good idea if we would just...

    ...PIPE DOWN!

    I thought of him as I was reading your
    comments about air horns--and thought you
    might be interested in tracking him down
    on Google or reading his book. I think you
    and he would get along.

    More on what you wrote later.

    Cocky, my invisible sea-farin' parrot--he
    had a case of rabies, but he's okay now--
    says hello.

    Just kidding, of course. He didn't have
    rabies...just scurvy.

    Thar she blows,

    The AM

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  2. Philip:
    There's a particularly great sentence within
    your comments on air horns.

    It reads, "And they're completely pointless."

    You are nine, and you already understand that
    some things are "completely pointless."

    You're off to a great, great start in life.

    You've already reached a point, by realizing
    that some things are "completely pointless," that many adults never reach.

    I think of Jesus referring to the "tradition
    of men." Or saying, "Let the dead bury their
    dead."

    I think, though He wasn't directly
    referring to air horns at soccer games, that
    He was letting us know that a good bit of
    what we come up with during this life is...

    Pretty pointless.

    I bet, at the end of a
    soccer game long ago, someone set off an air
    horn. And, that there wasn't much of a reason
    why--probably, they just liked the way it
    sounded. (They also probably liked setting
    off fire alarms in retirement homes, waking up their immediate family with a bull-
    horn each morning, and looking up the word
    "decibel" in the dictionary.)

    And so, the air horn thing is now a..."tradition."

    I mean, you're so right. Even if some dimwit didn't set off an air horn at the end of each
    soccer match, I think everyone involved
    would still know the match was over. (Same
    in the NHL, where not only air horns
    but sirens and flashing lights go off at the
    end of each game--and at the end of NBA games, where a horn sounds, too, albeit a bit more quietly than at soccer matches.)

    And even college football games, I now realize, usually end with someone shooting off a cannon. Why? Sometimes, sadly, even the mascots are harmed as a result.

    Not really. Just wanted to see if you were
    still asleep.

    I like baseball best as a sport--and perhaps,
    though I never thought of this before you
    wrote what you wrote, it's because when the games end, there's usually no loud signal
    at all--just the players running off the
    field, then shaking hands with and hugging
    each other.

    Except, wait a minute: I think in some baseball stadiums, when the home team wins, the stadium staff does
    set off fireworks right away.

    You know, you are brilliant...the pointlessness you identify is even more rampant than I realized.

    I guess that's why I love Christ so much.

    Quite a transition, huh?

    Anyway, a great thing about Him is that everything He said had a point--and a rather
    ultimate point, at that.

    But I don't need to tell you that.

    Telling you that is like bringing coal to
    Newcastle.

    Ask your parents what that means. It's a
    compliment.

    Anyway, I hope we get more new rants from you soon, because there are other things out there that we all need to think about for a
    moment, and if you don't keep writing, how
    will we think about them?

    Maybe you could write about how people don't
    know any words any more other than "cool"
    or "awesome."

    If I end up writing you from prison, it'll
    probably be because of an incident triggered
    by one or both words--along with someone
    doing some prolonged "uptalking"?

    And me finally snapping?

    Your faithful reader,

    The AM

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