Saturday, July 11, 2009

#7 About Stupid Radio Stations

Okay, so last night, I was riding back in our car from my family birthday party and my Dad turned on the radio. He flipped through the channels and stopped. 'Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer' was playing. Like, WHAT!? So, Christmas in December? Yes. But Christmas in July? Uh, no. Just, no. Now, I think that the people who control stations like this are very uncreative because they can't think of anything to theme off of except for a holiday that's going to happen 5 MONTHS FROM NOW!! There was also this one time when I was listening to the radio in August and they were discussing how Easter is always very fun. Wow. Anyway, as you can see, some people who control these radio stations have no idea what they're doing.

4 comments:

  1. Yes to this.

    You're absolutely right. Christmas music should begin on the radio at the EXACT moment that Santa appears in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade/Lipsynch-a-Thon. And it should be played up until 11:59 p.m. on New Year's Eve. Not before...not after.

    The problem with what you described is actually three-fold...

    1. As you stated, it shows a distinct lack of creativity on the part of the radio stations.
    2. It also makes Christmas music less special. That's the case with anything. The more common it is, the less special it is. By playing it at odd times during the year, Christmas music loses some of its appeal.
    3. I can't remember the third reason.

    Good stuff. Rant on, young ranter.

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  2. Philip-
    If you want to hear how great radio used to
    be, go over to reelradio.com. Just listen
    to the "disc jockeys," the sound of their
    voices, their clever use of sound effects...
    well, it's a whole world you've probably never experienced before.

    My personal favorite stuff on the site is
    anything from Radio Luxembourg.

    Hope you enjoy...

    The Ancient Mariner

    ReplyDelete
  3. Philip--
    I do not think I can improve on your comments
    about "Christmas in July" in any way--but can only tell you that what you wrote is precisely right, and add some comments of my own by way of strongly supporting you.

    If you tell someone, as you leave them, to
    "have a nice day"--well, that's pretty lame,
    because the phrase really means so little.
    But, at least it means something: a variation
    on "best wishes," or some such. (We won't get
    into all the ins and outs of how a person is
    SUPPOSED to have a nice day after you tell them to--you've already run away and hidden by then, of course, leaving them to figure out how to get out of the carnivorous monkey cage at the Bronx Zoo when it's afterhours
    and Zeb the night watchman is asleep.)

    But, "Christmas in July"? No, as Gertrude Stein said (ask your folks who she is), "There is no there there." Even if you ask
    yourself what it might mean, and you start
    trying to write that down on a piece of paper...well, you're in for a long night,
    goombah.

    I think, actually, "C in J" has no precise definition--other than, "A 20th-21st Century
    American phrase designed to coax people to
    spend money in July, when retail business is
    dead, like they do in December, when it's
    Christmastime."

    Doesn't it just coax you, just that way?

    Doesn't it?

    OF COURSE it doesn't!

    That's because your small-but-growing cranium
    is stuffed with brains! Lots of pulsing, neuron-firing lobe-stuff, grey in color and
    waiting for your next meal of fish!

    Which reminds me of the words of Herman Amy,
    a disc jockey I listened to when I was a sprout (this was before I became a tadpole,
    and later, a young boy). Herman, who had the
    keys to the studios of WNJR in Newark, New
    Jersey (I don't think he actually worked at
    the station, but I know he had the keys) used
    to say, "Don't lose yo' head! You need yo'
    head! Yo' brains is in it!"

    What you've put your finger on is that the
    people at "your" radio station didn't think
    about your awareness or mine when they started screaming "Christmas in July! Christmas in July!" They just were told by their bosses to SAY IT. And maybe, their bosses were told by THEIR bosses to SAY IT. And nobody wanted to get fired, so...everybody just...SAID IT.

    Because somewhere, in all of it, there was
    something to do with money. (Freaking out about getting fired has to do with money, of course, even though Jesus told us to "be
    anxious for nothing," and then explained why...)

    And, as re everything that happens on "This Bitter Earth" (try to hear Dinah Washington sing that song sometime--I know that, afterwards, you will thank me), there is another piece of Scripture that comes to mind
    at this juncture, too: "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil."

    Evil like, I am sorry to say, the inanity of "Christmas in July!"

    Which you, with perspicacity far beyond your
    years (look up "perspicacity"), have nailed --like white on rice.

    I'll write again soon. Your brilliance deserves nothing less, young master.

    The A.M.

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  4. Philip--
    I think, living where you live, relatively
    close to the Canadian border, you will be able to pick up the best radio in the world--CBC (the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), from Canada.

    It would make you appreciate how bad American
    radio can be, which you have already heard
    and put your finger on in your blog.

    CBC is something we don't have in this country--the closest thing would be NPR--in
    that CBC is funded by the Canadian government.(NPR also gets money from private sources.) But, more crucially, once you hear CBC, you will hear how superior it is to NPR...how beautifully programmed and produced.

    It is noncommercial--it has no commercials.

    I know, especially at night, you'll be able
    to pick up its AM service, called Radio One.
    And if you can get the FM service, which is even better--called Radio Two--you'll be able to hear superb music, documentaries, news
    coverage...and great "personalities", people
    who host the various music shows.

    Jurgen Gothe is one. Listen to him once,
    and you will be a fan for life. He does, or
    did, a show called "Disc Drive." Katie
    Mallach--on in the early evenings--is another.

    You can learn more at cbc.ca. All their programming is on the web, too.

    When I was your age, I learned so much from
    radio. I lived near New York City, where it
    was especially good. So I commend CBC to
    you in the same way, because of your thirsty
    young mind, and obvious love for music.

    More commenting to come.

    Best,

    The AM

    ReplyDelete